12:14 p.m.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
GRAHH



No one reads this anymore, but I'm just gonna type in here, because I don't remember what the hell my background looks like.

09:41 p.m.
Friday, October 1, 2004
GOD DAMMIT



I know no one reads this site anymore, but I atleast have a place to fuckin' rant my head off. I'm sick of this fuckin' shit in this god damn house. I work my ass off, trying to keep my grades up, keep my parents proud of me, taking care of my fuckin' sister, and at the same time working hard in Tae Kwon Do so atleast have a life after high school. My grandmother is quitting smoking, and so she's a fuckin' bitch to everyone, and mostly taking it out on me. I honestly need to get away. I need to just fuckin' get away, I'm sick of this shit. I can't fuckin' stand it anymore. I feel so sick i'm gonna hurl shortly if I don't calmn my ass down soon. I'm so over stressed, try and stay sane and get homework done. PLUS ontop of that, earn my red collar for taekwondo so I can become an instructor. -sighs and curls up- I just a)need to be laid, b) kidnapped c) killed. You pick my destiny, everyone else seems to fuckin' wanna rule my life.

09:38 p.m.
Friday, June 18, 2004
Oh my Friggin' GOD



I'm so gonna go insane very very very shortly. I don't even remember what HAPPENED today. I woke up, went downstairs took my meds like a good little girl. My grandmother comes in and askes if we want to go to Cabella's. I'm think sure, won't be a whole whoohooish day anyways. WRONG, we were there for 2 god damn hours. The place is this big sports outfitters, there's only two Cabella's on the east coast. Anyways, its like a goddamn museum in a god damn store! They even had their own restruant and aquarium. Not to mention IN the aquarium there was a catfish the size of my friggin' dog, actually it could probably EAT my dog. Plus they had all these animals that people killed and stuffed and made cute little displays.. I liked them til I saw the foxes and the wolves and then It was just plain out sad...and I think I used the wrong version of Plane.. whatever - -; My Dad's getting pissed so I'm gonna go. I'm not in the greastest of moods either seeing as though I couldn't eat dinner until AFTER i was starving enough from Tae Kwon Do. - -; -twitch- Bye ><;

12:27 p.m.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
XD



Well Justin yesterday told me he had a surprise for me today at noon. Well I'm thinking it might be a drawing of me doin' something crazy to him, because they all end up that way. ANYWAYS the surprise was that he dumped LACY...I was kinda like....OMIGOSH, and then I clinged to him til he turned blue like the picture he drew of us. He got tired of being wrong with her so he ended it. I'm so proud of him, he'll be much happier without that whore hanging around. yeah, so I'm all happy today -dances around- so I'll post later!

11:16 a.m.
Monday, June 14, 2004
-crying-



I have no idea what to do anymore. I started cutting again last night, I couldn't sleep, I can't eat I don't know what is fucking wrong with me. My world is falling apart. Justin tells me to forget about him..and I've tried. I went out on a few dates, but I wind up bored with the guy and think about Justin all the damn time. I'm not complaining, I enjoy thinking about Justin. He's everything I want in a guy. Not everyday you find a sweet guy like that. I just came to late and he's in love with someone else and i'm just the best friend that can't be anything more. I can never be...even if they break up I doubt I'll just be a friend. I can't talk anymore, I need to just go kill myself or something.

03:37 p.m.
Sunday, June 13, 2004
I just don't care anymore



Ugh, this day is just driving me nuts. I couldn't sleep last night so I just sat on my front porch staring at our little japanese style pond for over an hour shivering and now and then I was crying. I can't stand it. My friend Justin is being tugged on a little leash by his girlfriend. Who by the way is a complete whore. She's probably screwing her ex b/f in her room when Justin isn't on the phone with her. Which drives me nuts! He says he's gonna call me and he does then he says he fuckin' can't talk to me because he's gotta call her. Can we say WHIPPED! Give him a fuckin' life woman. Why don't you tell him to his face that your screwing whats his nuts and your just using him to get in his fuckin' pants. Girls like that give girls like me fuckin' bad names and reps. No wonder no one fuckin' wants me. My ex girlfriend doesn't even want to be friends with me. Yes, people you read that right, I did have a girlfriend and it was a nice relationship til I supposedly screwed it all to hell. Everythings my fuckin' fault. Yesterday, everyone was biting my damn head off for not reason. Gavin hates me, Justin right now, just won't go there. Sai was rawrish at me everyone completely snapped at me and all I did was say Hi.. Justin didn't really snap, he just signed on and mentioned that whores fuckin' name! -snarls- I'm not done ranting. I haven't ranted in this journal in a couple of months so it deserves a good god damn rant. I am completely stupid. I'm falling in love with my god damn best friend and he says he cares, obviously he fuckin' doesn't if he's still with her! I mean that girl gets mad at him for saying one thing. That to me is such a loving relationship -sarcasim- I just wanna chop her head off and slam it on a pike then rocket launch her body into a million pieces. I'm sick and tired of just sitting here while she sits on her royal chair tugging poor little Justin around on a god damn short fuckin leash. While I'm sitting here, ready to give him the world and he just says "I can't dump her Jen-Jen, I love her" I don't see HOW he could love a THING like THAT! She jumps from guy to guy ina heartbeat. I told him already they break up and she'll be in a guys lap in a week maybe less. But NOOO no one listens to Jen.. Jen doesn't know anything about relationships because she winds up being just the god damn best friend that no one fuckin' listens too and can't be anything more! -huffs- I'm fucking done and need to go cut myself.